Do any of these feel familiar?
I know it sucks, but I just can't [do the family event/promised task] because I feel awful.
Why won't you defend me to your parents? They are so dismissive and it just makes it worse.
Get off my back. I'll do what I can and you need to leave me alone about my health.
I don't feel like I can go off and have fun, while you're sitting here all miserable. But I'm starting to resent you, or your health, but it's scary to admit it.
I wish you would let me help you more. I have the energy to make your life better, why won't you let me?
The only thing worse than health issues, is doing life with another person while managing all the aspects and limitations.
We get it. We live it. You can short cut the couples therapy with people who know the complexity.